It got a little boring only hating on baseball. So with football back, I’m back to remind players how awful they played. Let’s get to it!
The Florida Gators’ offense was useless in their season opener, gaining 192 offensive yards. Eleven of those were rushing, and Malik Zaire had -29 of those. But don’t worry Gator fans! BYU had less than 100 yards of offense against LSU, finishing with -5 rushing yards. And yes of course, they were shut out. Let’s not leave out the Hoosiers and their offensive struggles – they managed just 17 yards on 27 carries against the Buckeyes.
Shame on the FBS schools who lost their opener to an FCS opponent: Georgia State, East Carolina, Baylor, UNLV. It might be a long season for your fans.
Tyler Harris transferred from UCF to Rhode Island, and us Knights fans are glad to see him go after he threw SIX interceptions against the Chippewas.
Riley Ferguson is supposed to be one of the top QB’s in the AAC, but a 40% completion rate with no TDs and an INT is not how you live up to hype.
Kent Myers of Utah State couldn’t do much right against the Badgers, throwing three picks en route to a 49-point loss.
Ben and Davis Cheek are not brothers, but they played like terrible twins. They each completed two passes in 9 and 10 attempts respectively, and both had one interception. Ben threw for 19 more yards than Davis…who only had 22.
James Morgan completed less than 30% of his passes with an interception. Bowling Green would go on to lose to Michigan State by 24; good for you if you picked the Spartans to cover the 17 point spread. Thomas Woodson threw a measly 71 yards with a pick. Akron lost by 52, more than their spread of +30.
Missouri’s defense allowed Missouri State to score 43 points and gain 492 yards of offense. Their SEC opponents are probably looking forward to crushing them with a real offense.
Saturday was further proof Brandon Harris should never be a quarterback. He went 7-16 for 60 yards and two interceptions and was benched halfway through the second quarter.
Gardner Minshew of ECU went 7-18 for 82 yards and an interception. He was benched in the second half, but ECU still lost to James Madison – an FCS school.
Jeremy Cox of Old Dominion ran for 22 yards on 14 carries with two fumbles and losing one. But he did catch seven passes for 43 yards. Maybe they were screens. Of course I didn’t watch the game, who would?
Brice Ramsey is Georgia’s last hope at quarterback, and they better pray he doesn’t have to play again. Both of his pass attempts were interceptions, at home, against Appalachian State.
Brendan Greene of Hampton was benched after completing one of nine passes for 10 yards. Yeesh.`
Shai Werts ran for 16 yards on 23 carries. He completed 50% of his passes for 8 yards and a pick. Montana State’s Chris Murray threw for only 28 yards with a 42% completion rate and an interception. To make things worse, his Bobcats were blanked. That’ll kill your confidence to start the season.
Tony Brooks-James of the not so mighty Ducks rushed nine times for 32 yards and lost two fumbles. Try stickum next time. (Yes I know that is not the best video quality.)
Desmond Hite of Incarnate Word racked up zero yards on 15 carries. That’s right, a donut for a rushing total. He kinda made up for it with 18 receiving yards.
Texas A&M couldn’t do two things against the Bruins – hold a huge lead and throw the ball. They deserved that tragic loss.
Mikie Mahtook gave Jose Ramirez his first of two homers by trying to be flashy. He was then robbed of a homer by Alex Gordon. Speaking of Gordon, he couldn’t hit for squat last week going 1-12 with five strikeouts.
Leury Garcia is one for his last 20 with eight strikeouts, four coming in the same game. To the batting cages!
Matt Davidson went 2 for 27 last week, striking out 12 times and drawing no walks. But he has 23 home runs on the year. Second coming of Adam Dunn?
Pablo Sandoval has no hits in his his last 31 at bats. His batting average has plummeted from .288 to .196. Given his age and being on the Giants, it’s going to be hard to bring it back up.
Sean Rodriguez had two hits in 18 at bats with at least one strikeout in every game (9 total). His batting average is even worse than Sandoval’s, sitting at .174 for the season.
Joey Rickard hasn’t provided much offensive for the Orioles since coming up from Triple-A, having one hit in 12 at bats.
As good as he’s been and will likely be in the hall of fame, Miguel Cabrera has made it to the list. He hasn’t gotten a hit in his last 16 attempts, but he’s really been terrible all year. Not too happy I took him in the first round of my fantasy league. His teammate Ian Kinsler has also had a down year, hitting .107 in his last seven games.
Mark Reynolds is having quite a comeback year, but hitting .055 in 18 at bats with 9 strikeouts for the week is gonna land you on this list.
Junichi Tazawa was not a helpful reliever, losing in one of his appearances and letting the Nationals cushion their lead last Tuesday. Kyle Crick of the Giants wasn’t any better, but does it really matter when your team is that bad?
Chris Flexen and Chasen Bradford of the Mets gave up 14 combined runs to the Reds last week. Flexen followed it up with almost identical numbers against the Astros.
Mike Fiers had a bad week, not making it to the 5th inning in both starts while giving up 14 combined runs.
It would take forever to individually call out starters who had one bad start, so let’s rattle em off now: Chris Smith, Troy Scribner, Rich Hill, Jerad Eickhoff, Ubaldo Jimenez, Ivan Nova, Derek Holland,
Parker Bridwell, Kendall Graveman, Hyun-Jin Ryu, Kenta Maeda, Jeremy Hellickson, Marco Estrada, Gerrit Cole, Buck Farmer, Tyler Skaggs, Kyle Freeland, Dillon Gee, Matt Harvey, Lucas Sims, Onelki Garcia, Yu Darvish, Jharel Cotton, Matt Andriese, Chad Bell, Madison Bumgarner. Notice anything odd? Yep, all of the Dodgers’ pitchers made the list. Well except Kershaw, that dude is too good.
Ricky Rodriguez is not a household name, and weekly stats like this won’t get him there: 2 IP, 5 ER, 7 H, 1 BB, 1 BLSV. Same goes for Richard Rodriguez’s first two career appearances: four runs on six hits in two innings. Coincidence they have similar names?
Sam Dyson continues to struggle, giving up five runs and recording only one out against the Cardinals on Friday. Maybe it’s time to call it quits?
Mike Dunn was anything but a relief for the Rockies last week, giving up four runs in three appearances in less than two innings of work. Lucky for him he didn’t record a loss or blown save.
The pitching staffs of the Braves and Cubs on Saturday were non-existent, with the game ending 12-14 in the Cubs favor. Also, the entire pitching staff on the Royals sucked by giving up 17 runs to the Twins.
Ian Kennedy was the Rays’ MVP last Monday letting seven runs go by in less than three innings. He then kind of made up for it next game against the Twins, but wasn’t credited with the win.
Jose Urena went four innings and gave up four in runs in his first start of the week, and then went seven with only one run. Too bad his offense couldn’t help him in Sunday’s game.
Aaron Nola had a great start against the Braves (who doesn’t), but then got rocked by the Marlins.
Corey Dickerson was hitting terribly all week until last night when he hit two doubles and a homer to help the Rays beat the Twins.
Got anyone to add? Write ’em in the comments.
Stats week of 8/28-9/4